DSB + 13.01.09 = SHAMBLES

A stunning 50 minutes late.

Reason.1: Complete and utter chaos at Odense station between 7.00 and 7.30 this morning. Neither the usual 07.20 or 07.29 anywhere to be seen at 07.20. 3 platform changes later for the 07.20, and I climb aboard the 07.29 because the 07.20 will be a further 20 minutes late. So managed to get a seat in what had practically become two trains, in that 98% of the people used to getting the 07.20 crammed onto the already busy 07.29. Scenes akin to the 07.29 from Mumbai main station not a supposedly civilised country followed as the 07.29 train left at 07.35.

Reason.2: A problem outside Søro station which had an increasingly edgy number of passengers listening to 3 announcements whilst ‘resting’ for around 20 minutes.

Reason.3: Nowhere for the now 30 minute late train to ‘park’ once it arrived at central station. So a further 20 minutes of slowly edging to a suitably free platform.

Another good example of just how shit DSB can be without too much effort.

Interestingly the incredibly annoying purple puppet Harry is currently starring in both a new tvc and print ad, pushing for people top leave their cars at home and use the train to get to work… With performances like today I challenge the hardiest of environmentaly aware citizens, to give up their car and its obvious unnatural emissions, for the cleaner, but incredibly expensive, unreliable alternative.

Whilst I am ranting, can somebody inform me what it is about danish humour that Harry and his shouting is so damn popular, regulary putting him top of popular tvc polls?

Bewildering.

DSB – 17.12.08

As I learned yesterday that my new employer is having trouble paying for my creativity, my daily usage of DSB is disrubted until the New Year, which inlight of the fact the train I had used for the last six weeks, has stopped stopping at the station I used, that ain’t no bad thing.

More Harry intermittently, and hopefully back with avengance in January.

DSB – 10.12.08

Of course there had to be a bump in the smoothness that had been DSB for the last week or so, somewhere on the horizon. And this morning I was delivered to my office 30 minutes late in quite spectacular circumstances, but a-typical of DSB I think. 

Everything was smooth upon arriving in Copenhagen on time, infact this was an achievement as the train left Odense 5 minutes + late. Next I was taught that value of not slipping too far into a comfort zone.

As I have done for the last 6 weeks I found my way to the connecting train, the 08.51 to Nivå, and climbed aboard. 15 mins later the DSB fun began.

Inexplicably unlike what has been the case for the last 6 weeks, said train did not stop at Charlottelund, and instead sped right past, delivering me somewhat bewildered 5 minutes down the track at the next station. So off I got, down the stairs I went and up onto the platform that would deliver me at my desired destination in the opposite direction. After waiting a few minutes a train arrived, with the message clearly displaying “Standser i alle stations” (stops at all stations). By chance as a member of staff on the train appeared at the door that opened before me, I thought I would be doubly sure, and asked whether it stopped in Charlottelund. “Ja” was the reply.

So I sat down for the brief trip, and quickly learned that call it whatever you like, mis-information, blatant lying, on two  counts… The train most certainly does not stop at all stations, as I whizzed right past where I wanted to be for the second time in 15 minutes. So again I was dumped in one station away from where I wanted to be in Hellerup.

Again I got off, again I navigated myself to the platform which would hopefully, finally, deliver me to where I actually wanted to be. A short wile later my patience was rewarded and I arrived in Charlottelund on a completely different train to how I have arrived in the last  6 weeks, 30 minutes late.

Explantions or reasoning are welcome. I am just pleased that tonight will be the last time I am entertained by these clowns for a week, as I fly to the land of the British Rail Network tomorrow, and have faith I will be delivered to the airport on time, and without ending up in Sweden.

DSB – 09.12.08

A slightly different journey to work so being on timetable was not important. Got to use the S train again though which has been out of commission, so more options to get to where I want (have) to be.

DSB – 08.12.08

DSB

Monday morning and DSB impresses me again. Bang on timetable. A nice smooth start to the week.

DSB – 05.12.08

Working at home again, so avoided DSB.

DSB – 04.12.08

Almost ridiculously my return to the office, was improvingly met with a faultless journey again. Keep it up.

DSB – 03.12.08

Working at home so no DSB sillyness today.

DSB – 02.12.08

DSB

4th day on the trot, on time infact. DSB is starting to make my claims of complete inefficiency look a little shaky.

DSB – 01.12.08

A new month, a new week, and though the Odense train left 10 minutes late and a sIight fear for a typically late Monday morning, but said train made much haste and arrived on time, so again for the third journey in a row I arrived on time or within 5 minutes at least, and on doing so, I was greated by a nice gentleman handing out ‘Harry’ vouchers for a pick of a free coffee, hot chocolate or a Daim bar! Now, you may read this and think what does Harry have to do to get a smile? Answer. He has to make the on time journey time so incredibly normal that this little experiment is abandoned. Happy Monday.

DSB – 28.11.08

Same as yesterday, a mere 5 minutes late. So a nice (relatively) smooth start to the weekend. Happy Friday by the way!

DSB – A Creative Experiment

As some of you may or may not know, I currently live in a small Danish town called Odense, 160 km west of ‘Wonderful’ Copenhagen, and pretty much every working day, Monday to Friday, since October 2005, I have travelled to and from Copenhagen for work.

Though a daily round trip of 320 km, is of course on any level, less than ideal, being a predominantly English speaking creative, means I have little opportunity other than to work in Copenhagen.

A relatively fast rail system (sometimes) means I can, if the trains run to timetable, do this journey in around 1 hour 40 mins, which having lived in London is not overly excessive. Alas, as you can see with my bracketed ‘sometimes’ this relatively fast rail network is anything but reliable.

Here, may I introduce DSB, my daily tormentor since October 2005.

Sadly due to excuse after excuse, the DSB system simply doesn’t work on my journey, day after day.

DSB charges me (unsurprisingly) a large amount of money, an average of 3500.00 Danish Kroners a month over the last 3 years, around £350 a month. A lot of money full stop, but when trains consistently run late it becomes even more. Oh, and that doesn’t even guarantee me a seat, there has been occassions where I have had to sit on the cold wet floor of said train for over an hour and a half, but that is another subject. Here and now, I am hoping to expel some of my daily frustration and conduct a small experiment.

Using this blog I intend on (whenever) possible, using the image above, to document my daily trip to work.

I will try to talk you through how this works. Above you can see the much loved (here in Denmark) ‘Harry’, right now he is wearing a frown, to document yesterday’s 30 minute late journey. Below ‘Harry’ is a green and red scale. The green area is the official DSB timetable trip. The red area is in 10 minute increments, the area where I am late for work.

Quoting the DSB timetable it states that my daily train, that leaves Odense at 07.20, should get me to my place of work, via one change, at 09.05. The image above is yesterday’s trip, as you can see, like the day before and three days last week, the tall dark blue line indicates I arrived 30 minutes late.

Basically if ‘Harry’ smiles I got to work early, if ‘Harry’ is indifferent I got to work as timetabled, if ‘Harry’ is grimacing, I got to work late. The scale if you can be bothered tells more of the story behind ‘Harry’s’ facial expression.

You can quickly find ‘Harry’ on any day by clicking his tag to the right.

Gladly I will not be enduring this journey today as I am working from home, but, as from tomorrow you will be able to keep track on whether ‘Harry’ is smiling or grimacing, and I can keep track on just how many days I arrive in my office late and maybe prove to this behemoth of an organisation that is more than happy to take a large wedge of my hard earned money, that on a daily basis it fails to live up to an advertised promise.

See you tomorrow, hopefully with a smiley ‘Harry’.